SEX vs. CHOCOLATE!

TOP TWENTY REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX:

1. You can GET chocolate.

2. "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate.

3. Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.

4. You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.

5. You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.

6. You can have chocolate even in front of your mother.

7. If you bite the nuts too hard the chocolate won't mind.

8. Two people of the same sex can have chocolate without being called nasty names.

9. The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate.

10. You can have chocolate on top of your workbench/desk during working hours without upsetting your work mates.

11. You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped.

12. You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.

13. With chocolate there's no need to fake it.

14. Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.

15. You can have chocolate at any time of the month.

16. Good chocolate is easy to find.

17. You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.

18. You are never too young or too old for chocolate.

19. When you have chocolate it does not keep your neighbors awake.

20. With chocolate size doesn't matter; it's always good

By: Austrian Girl

ArabComedyEntertainment.

Abu Abed Airport Adventure!

Abou Abad(aa) was in the airport of USA, the policeman(p) there starts to ask him:

p: Name?
aa: Abou Abad

p: Age?
aa: 45

p: You are from?
aa: Lebanon

p: Sex?
aa: 4-5 times at week

p: I don't mean that, i mean male or female?
aa: Male,female ,it doesn't matter, 4-5 times at week

By: Alaa

ArabComedyEntertainment.

Wanna Beer!?

An American, a Brit and an Iraqi are in a bar one night having a beer.

The Yankee drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the air, pulls out a gun and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In the States our glasses are so cheap that we don't need to drink from the same one twice."

The Brit obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In Britain we have so much sand to make the glasses that we don't need to drink out of the same glass twice either."

The Iraqi, cool as a cucumber, picks up his beer and drinks it, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the American and the Brit. He says "In Baghdad we have so many Americans and Brits that we don't need to drink with the same ones twice."

ArabComedyEntertainment.

Driver of the Year!

Grandma is eighty-eight years old and still drives
her own car. She wrote the following letter to her
grand-daughter.


Dear Grand-daughter,

The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting. So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.

Boy, am I glad I did, what an uplifting experience
that followed.

I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn't notice that the light had changed

It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed.

I found that lots of people love Jesus!

While I was sitting there, the guy behind started
honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his
window and screamed,

' For the love of God! '

' Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!'

What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!

Everyone started honking!

I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving people.

I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!

There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach.

I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air.

I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant.

He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.

Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii, so I
leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign right back.

My grandson burst out laughing.

Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!!

A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me.

I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I
attended, but this is when I noticed the light had
changed.

So, I waved at all my brothers and sisters grinning, and drove on through the intersection.

I noticed that I was the only car that got through
the intersection before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared.

So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.

By: Yazan

ArabComedyEntertainment.

Daily Star!

Wife:
I wish I were a newspaper, so you can hold me every morning!;

Husband:
I wish you're a newspaper TOO, my dear so I can have a NEW ONE every morning!

ArabComedyEntertainment.

Animals!

A camel and an elephant met, and the elephant asked: Why do you have your tits on
your back?;

The camel responded: What a silly question from someone who has a dick on his face!

By: Amoura

ArabComedyEntertainment.

Only an Arab will understand this!

An Israeli arrives at London's Heathrow airport. As he fills out the entry form, the immigration officer asks him: "Occupation?"

The Israeli promptly replies: "No, No, just visiting!"

By: Turky

ArabComedyEntertainment.

How your Multicultural Date will GO!

WHITE WOMEN:

First date:
You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date:
You get to grope all over and make out a bit.
Third date:
You get to have sex but only in the missionary position.

IRISH WOMEN:

First Date:
You both get blind drunk and have sex.
Second Date:
You both get blind drunk and have sex.
20th Anniversary:
You both get blind drunk and have sex.

CHINESE WOMEN:

First date:
You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.
Second date:
You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again.
Third date:
You don't even get to the third date and you've already realized nothing
is ever going to happen.

INDIAN WOMEN:

First date:
Meet her parents.
Second date:
Set the date of the wedding.
Third date:
Wedding night.

MEXICAN WOMEN:

First Date:
You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, and have sex in the back of her car.
Second Date:
She's pregnant.
Third Date:
She moves in. One week later, her mother, father, his girlfriend, her
two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma, her father's
girlfriend's mother, her two cousins, her sister's boyfriend and his
three kids move in and you live on rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks like a home along the Tijuana strip.

ARAB WOMEN:

First Date:
Mother, Father, Brothers, Sisters, Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, Friends and entire Arab community finds out.
Second Date:
Guy is shot dead.
No third date!!!

LEBANESE WOMEN:

First Date:
You will have to spend all your money to impress

Second Date:
You will take a loan to keep the image
Third Date :
Your are broke, she finds someone wealthier

By: Fady

ArabComedyEntertainment.

Abu Abed

Abu Abed goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE African guy standing next to him.

The big guy sees Abu Abed staring at him, looks down and says:
'7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown'.

Abu Abed nearly faints dead. The big fellow says: 'What's wrong with you BUDDY?'

In a weak voice Abu Abed said: 'What EXACTLY did you say to me?'

The big dude says: 'I saw the curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch penis, my left testicle weighs 3 pounds, my right testicle weighs 3 pounds and my name is Turner Brown.'

Abu Abed says: "Turner Brown? ............. ************ 3akrout; I thought you said 'Turn around'..."

By: Yazan

ArabComedyEntertainment.

Welcome here!

Hello and welcome!

This site has just started up and will offer you facts, stories, and jokes to keep you laughing all day long. Every Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday, there will be a new post. Hopefully you all enjoy them. Don't forget to comment and leave any ideas or suggestions for future posts.

Enjoy and spread the love!

Eleleleleleleehh!

ArabComedyEntertainment.